Surviving Barstool Week 2 Awards

Welcome back to our weekly awards for Surviving Barstool, which continues to be the most captivating reality show on the internet. This week, the game became more physically and mentally demanding, which invoked more stress and strategy, making it all that more compelling. From blows to the face to knives in the back, there's a lot to break down so let's get into it.

MVP: Ria

Ria has had an impressive overall game throughout and was in the running for MVP last week, barely getting beat out by Francis. She's destroyed the narrative of "This is a man's game" and proven to be a favorite to win it all. Since we're doing weekly awards, I'll hone in on what put her above the rest this week.

Puppet master Ria has been pulling the strings every time her team seems to be in a bind. She demonstrated this early in the week by playing White Sox Dave like a fiddle, making him feel secure, before letting the firing squad know their target has been acquired. White Sox Dave may have been the lamb on that team and is probably not the hardest guy to lie to, especially when he's got a look on his face like Sid from Ice Age frantically searching a filled room of competitors.

Post-sacrifice of WSD, teams merged and Ria had some luck with her draw, maintaining her initial alliances with Dave Portnoy, Klemmer, & Francis.

Once again we watched as Ria weighed all options; kill a big fish or get rid of another lamb? Bringing up Big Cat or Whit to Dave was a great idea and honestly, if Big Cat wasn't tight with Whit, might've worked. However, The puppet master put out the call for Klemmer to be exiled to have dinner with Ben Mintz for the remainder of the week and the tribe moved on but not without a touching goodbye from Klemmer who somehow still believed to be in control.

Ria's been in full control and it's continued through the merge. She even had to coach up Moobie after she thought it was a game of double agent and spilled the team's plans to Skellwan. Ria told this to Dave, as well as mentioning to Dave and Dave only that she found an immunity key. She's kept her alliances intact, trust high, and every time the totem pole has to lose a head, she makes the call.

The game runs through Ria and a big fish may be out of water soon enough.

LVP: Megan Makin' Money

This pains me to do, I'm a big fan of Megan, met her on multiple occasions, and I'm rooting for her to win the whole damn thing. That being said, she had a few moments this week that stood out more than others and ultimately won her this award.

Let's start with the Attack/Defend challenge where Megan volunteered to throw and only proved to be their downfall. On a team with 3 former professional athletes, Megan said pass me the rock, stepped to the mound, and threw lollipops at Francis time and time again. All the while she was being mentally harassed by Dave Portnoy who was seemingly shocked she could hear him and at the decision-making of their squad.

Honestly, their team was fucked due to the number of penalties and Ryan Whitney's right arm, but going 1/8 on throws still proved to be detrimental. Let's hope the name Megan Throwin' Muffins doesn't stick and move on to another reason she's had a fall from grace.

After losing the challenge, the contestants began to chatter about who's head to chop, and Will, Whit, and Taylor conversed in the 2nd floor men's room. Both Megan and Kelly frantically ran about like a chicken with its head cut off before Megan burst through the door to be involved in the conversation. In hindsight, the move of desperation probably saved her since Lewan had her name in the mix but she managed to get everyone on the Mintzy train. I thought Megan should've tried to gather favor from those she could find, Keegs, Biz, & Mintzy, and try to swing the vote towards one of The Boys but she was determined to be aligned with what she viewed as the strength of the team.

Lastly, Megan pulled a very strange play. She approached Dave Portnoy before the merger and tried to gain his trust by telling him not to search for idols. Her reasoning was even if you get the key you probably won't get the Idol so it isn't worth the trouble. Dave reacted in a skeptical manner because why wouldn't you still want to take that risk? It's a part of the game. I'm hoping Megan can align and swing the vote to get Lewan out but the lack of sleep seems to be catching her and is messing with her decision-making.

Agent Of Chaos: Kirk Minihane

Kirk Minhane has finally started to erupt and I'm here for it. He's been in a reserved position for the fear of puzzles but this week was all about strategy and strength and it has awakened the beast. We first saw the frustration boil over when his team committed five penalties in the first half of Attack/Defend.

Shrugging off the helping hand of Kelly Keegs and screaming at 4 former athletes (Rico Bosco played 4 years of D3 college football, look it up.) had me ready to step on a circle for Kirk. Then Biz decided to pull Klemmer off his spot and Kirk instilled the fear of god into Klemmer, with a flinch and a simple phrase. "I'm gonna ruin your fucking life."

Even though I tried to put my hat in the ring for the producer role, I'm not really in the Minifan circle but moments like this make me wish I was. Kirk's an absolute madman but his passion and fire are things I can get behind. What other guy is willing to start an all-out brawl with a former NHL player?

Every outburst was more electric and captivating than the last. A true Agent of Chaos. The man has more passion and balls than anyone out there which is why if I was in the game I'd be like Rone and help him get any advantage I could.

The Ten Years Was Worth It Award: Rico Bosco

Rico Bosco has spent the better part of a decade in the mental torture asylum under Dave Portnoy's leadership and supervision. 10 years of shots, jabs, and torment finally came to a head when the surviving challenge was a simple joust in which you get to beat the hell out of your opponent. When Dave was offered up as Team Mintz's champion Rico finally had a shot at retribution and boy did he deliver.

Rico stood tall in the pocket like prime Micky Ward and delivered blow after blow before sending El Presidente out of the playing field. I like to imagine with each strike delivered, Bosco was talking in his head; "This is for saying list!" "Who's the bad guy now?!" "PICK EM PICK EM" and I may be right in that assumption. Bosco tossed his sword on the body of his fallen opponent, finished with a flex, and had Ryders everywhere waving there flags or in Derik's case, throwing napkins and making Ziti.

6 episodes down, 9 to go, and the fun has just begun. Congrats to our awardees, VIVA.

(Keegs still wins it all.)