Barstool Spring Break: Cast Power Rankings Vol. 3

As things continue to spice up in Vegas, hotter than the desert heat, here in the situation room we have been crunching all the numbers to figure out who is bringing the most to the table (could qualify as a casino pun) in Spring Break. After what we all can now truthfully say was a frigid start, though lots of fun for the cast...things have recently taken a clear 180, and the aftermath is still being felt. Though of course Rone today on the recap (live at 12:30 pm Eastern) could stir the pot even more as he does, as of now we feel there’s enough to put together comprehensive rankings.

For those a little behind, the two major storylines revolve around mischievous relationships or "situationships," as the kids are calling them these days. First, there is what seems to be potentially the more serious situation: Oona, after calling out the cast for being "boring," came on with promises to bring the drama... well, she did, just maybe not in the way she hoped. During the recap show, allegations were thrown left and right about her alleyway to getting to Barstool, even after show producer badass Peyton called her out on it, before excusing herself from Vegas (which no one should fault her for, btw).

Now, how did this rumor or information about Oona's connections to apparently a high-up Barstool-adjacent figure start? Many are claiming it was birthed from the Chicago office at the hands of her ex, Sam Goldfinger (another up-and-coming producer), which then led to Keegs coming to the defense of Oona. Yes, stoolies, we finally are seeing the rivalry of Chicago vs. New York come about, with even Annika, Nicky, and poor Hannah Montoya (who wanted no part of Spring Break) being thrown in as rumor starters against Oona and Keegs.

After all of this came to light, Goldfinger was sent on the first flight to Vegas, and Keegs loaded up her ammo in wait for his arrival. They then had a huge outburst, still with no clear answers regarding said rumor or the name all of the social media world was hoping for. BUT! Amidst their Rough N' Rowdy-esque quarrel, they were upstaged by Portnoy yet again... as he planted a seed that was about to bloom. Annika's "situationship" man was in the building; yes, we now have the two most recent men in her life a mere few feet from each other. Soon, the viewers' short attention spans shifted quickly to the new developing story, wondering what we may have next. As the story continues to unravel, and I'm sure Rone will find the right buttons, let's take a look at where everyone stands, and could someone be going home?

Not Enough Data to Rank: Goldfinger

He had his showdown with Keegs, yes, but that felt way more Keegs than it did Goldfinger. Also, he felt like he had this bombshell on his chest, but we never got to the bottom of it. If he doesn't get put right back on a plane to Chicago today, though, does being around his ex start to bring out other storylines we haven't heard yet?

10. Kelly

Sooooooo, did she already go home or am I tripping? I seriously think she left with Maddie and no one is telling us. I know Kelly has a massive following in her own right, but she just hasn't clicked with the audience here, it seems. You have to think with the room getting a little too crowded, she could be on the Portnoy chopping block today. Of course, what is helping is that Dani Jackel has to bounce, but still, Kelly feels like she has one foot out the door.

9. Tommy Smokes

Who doesn't love Tommy Smokes, Tommy Two Blondes? I mean, he is the man, but he just is getting upstaged. While I still think he is important to the cast and should stay, as he does have timely inserts into the drama or fun, he isn't anywhere close to the top of this list and will need to go wild the last few nights to change that.

8. Dani Jackel

I think Dani was very good at trying to keep this show afloat early on; she was willing to mix it up, say shit outta pocket, and really was the only one. Unfortunately, though, I think she has become more of a bystander than a player. Part of it could be knowing she is on her way out; the other is not being in the Chicago or New York office daily. It seems those two attributes are huge if you want to be successful in this show, you have to already be a part of the office drama in a sense. She still gave a great effort this week.

7. Ella Grif

Okay, now there is a stretch of cast members who I personally like and think have done no wrong. Here's the thing, though: what gets the views lately is the drama, and they stay out of it for the most part. Ella herself even said, "I'm staying away from all that." So, it's not that she is doing anything wrong, and I feel this crew of three is very important for the show's balance of drama, funny, and downright crazy. She brings us that crazy fun.

6. Katic

I should put the man higher just for the video below, a true leader through and through. Again, 7th might feel low for him, and I know the Krawlers could be on my ass, but drama is getting the clicks right now and moving the needle for the cast. Katic will still find his way to make an impact, and I still think he is in the Hall of Fame for this series.

5. Dante The Don

The last of the three I wish I could put higher, but I have to be as unbiased as possible from the situation room. Dante is the man; in every clip, he finds a way to make it a classic, whether on purpose or by accident. I just love that he has now been on both editions fully and still acts shocked when he sees they got a video of him doing something. Some may call it a bit, but it's our "NORM" from Cheers for Barstool Spring Break/Beach House.

4. Oona

Alright, we are in the thick of it now. Oona is making her debut in the rankings at 4. It may feel low, but she kind of edged us a bit... too much. To some extent, I do get not wanting to name names, but if you say you are going to be different this time after being seen as a bit of a dud in the summer house, you can't hold back bombshells. Still, she does deserve this high ranking because she really did jumpstart the show when things felt very low. Now let's see what she can do moving forward, if Goldfinger stays, how does she handle that?

3. Keegs

Okay, I'm going to start this by saying I am not a Keegs fan at all. She has her stans, though, and I respect that. With that said, she is PERFECT, like Smokes, for this "trash TV." She finds a way to not only dictate every piece of drama going on but does it with the right amount of flair. Side note: Keegs also stood up for my boy Tate multiple times, which shows growth. She has been able to find a way to facilitate a rumor that maybe was nothing but blow it up. She has skills. Now, what is next for her with the NY vs. Chicago drama maybe cooling?

2. Nicky Smokes

How can he not be near the top of this list? Love him or hate him, he is made for this shit. He is clicks, not always or maybe even ever the "good guy," but every show needs a villain. He fits that to a T. Now he is in another situation, of course, with Annika, but there is another man as well. How might this change? Could he become the super-villain, or will he find a way to be the hero?

1. Annika

The girl has been on fire, so you wonder why number1.. trust me, uhhh this is a no brainer. Annika had her freak out, then got back together with her ex, and now we have her "situationship" man in the mix, leading to, of course, a Nicky and Annika fight. After what many thought to be a subpar start and almost being kicked off, she now has the ball in her hands and is unstoppable. She is quickly becoming the star of the show without a doubt. What could happen next, though, is where she could find herself back on top of the rankings.

Today is going to be interesting on the recap show. While the Oona/Keegs vs. Goldfinger/Peyton situation seems to have cooled, could there still be a spark to watch out for between Sam and Oona? Also, the main story will be Annika and Nicky yet again, with a new incoming twist. A show once thought to be withering away in the desert is now fully entrenched in drama, with the cast members themselves at the edge of their seats.

Also check out Reed Jones for complete breakdowns like this: