Surviving Barstool Week 4 Awards

Welcome back to our weekly awards for the greatest show on the internet. If you're new here and haven't finished last week's episodes, stop now because there are nothing but SPOILERS ahead. The most captivating and controversial week so far has Barstool personalities at each other's virtual necks, so without further ado, let's get to the awards.

MVP: Dave Portnoy

El Pres's inclusion in the game this far along is an ode to his terrific gameplay and the stupidity of the other contestants. With Ria as his hitman, he's controlled elimination votes again and again and if the game was over today I'm not sure how you couldn't vote for Dave as the winner. He's stared people in the face and told them they were gone multiple times in this game and has yet to be threatened to be sent packing. Just check out his kill cam sizzle real that can be matched by none.

Leading up to the Pink Wedding his side was outnumbered 7 to 4 but that didn't matter one bit once the chaos began. He organized hit after hit, starting with Skellwan whom he said goodbye to before the votes were counted. Right after lowering the CTE at the table he again manipulated the other contestants to rally votes against Kirk but received pushback from Big Cat and Keegs. So to get the result he desired, he turned to his old faithful dog and said let me borrow that immunity collar, pup. As the Ryder flags at DJ's were raised, Rico passed the immunity off to Dave which left Kirk with nothing but time to get a few last threats to the table before grabbing his bags and heading to the slaughterhouse. Then in his last act, he once again went after what was left of The Boys and took down my fellow North County graduate, Will Compton.

If you took one last look at the table you'd see a broken-brained Biz, Rico wondering if Kirk was going to tell his wife he had a Chicago side piece (untrue), Megan googling the word "twat", Big Cat texting his eliminated friends "Are we still cool?", Keegs wiping away tears, Moobie blathering baby toned nonsense, and Dave with a smirk on his face realizing that the game runs through him now.  It was a psychologically manipulating masterclass. Go Pres, Go.

AGENT OF CHAOS: Rico Bosco

Rico Bosco giving his immunity up to Dave was the most surprising thing I've seen since... Oh yeah, since Francis gave his immunity to Dave. In all seriousness, I thought Rico was going to keep it so when he handed it to Dave my jaw dropped but the chaos that ensued was well worth the risk. Kirk completely lost it on the entire table telling Rico he was going to tell his wife he had a Chicago broad, calling Megan Makin' Money a twat, which hasn't been used since the late 80s, and doxing Big Cat as a Mass hole.

Rico continued his chaotic run once we saw Big Cat give up not one but two immunity keys to him and then finding one on his own. The craziest part of getting 3 keys is that Rico used them in the same spot ALL THREE TIMES. Thank god it worked or we Ryders would be deep in the bag of defenses, but like Bosco said, "3rd times the charm." Rico has a real shot to win this thing and for the sake of Pick 'Em and Ryders everywhere, I hope he does.

LVP: Big Cat

This pains me to say but Barstool Big Cat comes in as the Least Valuable Player this week to all besides Bosco. After roaring out of the gates to start the show and axing some of his best friends we saw the reality show take a toll on BC.

We all were waiting for the moment when Dave and Dan had to turn their blades at one another and duke it out for the win but instead, we got an absolute flatline out of one of the biggest personalities on the internet. Big Cat has gone over it multiple times now on the Yak and Pick 'em and at this point, I almost feel like I'm piling on. I will say for a guy who's always been for the best content, this was completely out of left field. I already mentioned the giving up of immunity keys but another thing I hated was the text exchange between Dan and Ria where he was trying to set up a fake scene to make it seem like it was okay his allies were turning on him. It simply took the fun out of the show and it just fucking sucked watching a guy many look up to flame out so tragically. I'll always be an AWL and a Big Cat fan, Boston version or Chicago, but the way he just gave up made me genuinely sad.

One last note before i get my rally weapons ready for the Commanders, I thoroughly dislike how contract negotiations played a part in strategy this year. If you don't want them winning because they might leave in 3 months, don't have them in the game. Let's run Cliff's idea and get a Breakdown Boy a job next time.

VIVA