Barstool After Dark: This is Sparta

Barstool After Dark has found themselves 20+ years into the future, countless jobs later, and still searching for the Promised Land of a championship. Still, the only “touch the sun” moment came with the Aztecs of San Diego State.

After a long hiatus from the Mountain West and Cali beaches, B-Walk is back...now coaching the San Jose State Spartans in the year 2046. And word is he is here to stay!

Lucas, with a clutch producer move, took over strategy by halting the jump-around job-hopping and instead focusing on recruiting and development at one school.

From someone who pre-ordered and is currently sitting at 9-1 with Missouri State, ranked Top 20 in Year 2, I will say, this could be considered, in the future, as the meat of the championship speech or the where were you moment of the stream.

To win a natty in the new 2026 College Football game, you have to hit the recruiting trail, and don’t forget to "go portaling" in the offseason. Those two things will change your dynasty trajectory in an instant. It still is tough, and could take years but that stability is crucial.

As the hours pile up on the Stool crew, the question begs to be answered: Will the dynasty clock run out on them?

In past games, 30 years has been the cap before you're forced into “retirement.” Now, with SJSU under 10 years from that moment, how will the pressure be handled by the group?

The focus must be on their best players. For example, freshman RB phenom Yeast could be the centerpiece of a championship run, but that, of course, will come down to who’s on the controls.

Let’s dive into who may be best suited to lead SPARTA! to a natty:

Intern Ryan

Off the bench in the late afternoon, he has proven to be an asset on both sides of the ball, maybe even the best defensive controller. That will be key come playoff time. But can he handle the chat in a pinch? His youth and After Dark inexperience may come up out of nowhere. Only time will tell.

Lucas

The Producer (and chat controller) is also a big-time offensive guru. Maybe he only runs 3 to 5 plays, but boy does he know how to turn them into points. Hopefully, that McFlurry doesn’t knock him off his game, as he hadn’t had McDonald’s in over 3 years prior... the stomach could become an issue.

White Boy Rick

The wild card of the bunch. Who could forget that Auburn masterclass? But some are saying the game may have passed him by... still, he may be needed in a must-win situation. His energy for the crew is a catalyst for success. Will the analyst be ready for the moment?

Tate

The expert user-pick legend... but otherwise, the gameplay has been suspect, and he’s been the biggest critic at times. His vibes and instincts will be needed if this natty is to happen. Maybe even a job offer to O…S…U. Full circle? We shall see.

Others have jumped in too, and we can’t forget our fallen gamers:

• T-Bob, Special Teams Coordinator

• Liam "One Drive" Blutman

• Jack “Spike the Controller” McCarthy

It’s been a team effort, but the four men above and beyond have stuck with the Brandon Walker coaching staff the whole way.

Now, in Silicon Valley, they look to lead Sparta to a championship.

As the clock ticks in video game land...Will that trophy room stay blank? Or will the confetti fall for the Spartans faithful?

UPDATE!!!

WOAHHH HOLD UP?!!?!? Brandon Walker, in a wild move, is heading to the Midwest!!

In Year 2048, the Cyclones reached deep into their pockets to lure him away from the beaches of the West Coast. This is a shocking turn of events, breaking late in the evening. No one saw this coming after the years of work he put in on the recruiting trail out west.

Now, with only 7 seasons left, do they have the roster set up to make the run they’re hoping for? And in the Big 12...

Tick. Tick. Tick.The seasons are running low.

Will the coaching change sour Intern Ryan’s play? Or will this shift galvanize the squad into a natty run?

A new team, new players, this all leaves a lot of question marks...

But remember, Cyclone fans...