Spoilers Warning: Dozen Weekly Recap

CoachDay
Apr 22
4 min read

A Dozen Week Full of Heavy Hitters and Day Oners Did Not Disappoint. All, including after a slight call-out by this blogger of one team, featured a statement win and a No. 1 ranking for the first time in almost two years. June playoffs loom closer and closer each week as teams continue to fight for placing in the Dozen Tournament. Let’s take a look at the big movers this past week in The Dozen.

Uptown Balls Halts the Ryders' Rise in the Rankings

Uptown Balls, usually the higher-ranked squad went into this match as the underdog, at least according to most insiders(for this I'm going to say there is multiple of us). They heard the noise, no doubt about it, as they really took control early and never let go en route to a 16–9 win. Tommy, Glenny, and Hannah are really beginning to mesh together, which is not a good sign for the rest of the league. They kind of got forgotten or written off after falling earlier in the season, but they could be one of the more balanced teams in the league as Hannah continues her square-off with Jake Malasek for Rookie of the Year.

For the Ryders, their up-and-down performances continue. It seems they either show they can and will compete with anyone... or they throw up some real stinkers. If this team truly wants to become Final Four or even championship contenders, they need more from KFC and Rico Bosco. Kelly Keegs is doing her job this season yet again, with big numbers in pop culture, music, etc. The boys around her, eerily similar to last year with Chicago. They just seem to be too inconsistent at this point. To make THE run, they will need to find more ball knowledge, and find it very soon.

Chicago Survives High-Scoring Affair With Grinders

Coach Gruden made it clear before the match: WE NEED TO PUT THE BALL IN THE END ZONE! And the boys listened, scoring 14 points. Unfortunately it was bad timing, as they faced a squad who was just a little bit better that day, losing 15–14 to Chicago.

Chicago, led by their Captain Chief with 13 points, also had an all-time White Sox Dave performance with 8 points as well. They really were able to finally put a full team effort together for once, and in a match where they needed every ounce of it to win. This moves them to 1–3 on the season... which still doesn’t look good, but it's a powerful 1–3 considering who they’ve fallen to this season. The fight into the play-ins is really heating up; this win kept them right in the thick of that battle. Still, they’ll be searching for a couple more wins to clinch a spot.

Meanwhile, the Grinders are in a very similar situation, a strong 1–2 team considering they’ve now played two top-ten teams to the final "possession". Liam Blutman finally showed up, with potentially his job on the line, scoring a team-high 7.7 points. Jake Malasek had what could be categorized as his first “bad” game. The Grinders are the type of team that, IF they can sneak into this thing, you don’t want them in your path.

Another #1 Swap Atop, as Experts Silence Critics

The word around the Barstool universe was there were doubts to the validity of the Experts' 5–1 record in 2025 Dozen play. From who? That is a very good question. Did this blogger get some inside information from someone? Or was he just looking at the analytics? Who’s to say at this point. Somehow, it may have gotten back to the Experts though, as they faced the No. 1 Minihane squad and put them down 17–13... with an all-time Brandon bonus round really being the big difference.

Down 2–0 in the best-of-five bonus round, Brandon “MF” Walker took over, winning three straight to help the squad take a 10–6 lead into the second half. Both teams continued to answer correctly left and right, making that bonus round the deciding factor in the end. The Experts answered the bell in this one, putting this insider in his place(though I wanted them to have this moment). They beat the hot team in what could be a Final Four or even championship preview.

For Minihane, this is a great measuring stick moment. Kirk, of course, is a champion and MVP, so he understands the big moments are on the way. Robbie, a champion himself, doesn’t seem to be flinching from the big lights either. Chris Klemmer.... maybe considered the link in the chain that hasn’t been in these moments, he got a good dose of what it will be like in June. Overall, he did his job, but as we know, Kirk will expect him to go above and beyond in the playoffs.

Another week of The Dozen, and we now have our third new No. 1 in the past month. The Experts will also be taking the week off, so the spot will hold for the time being. Those in range to challenge are Uptown Balls, Booze Ponies, Frankettes, and Ziti. From that list, I could see Uptown or Booze going for it. I think Frankettes and Ziti are content with a top 4 seed and not giving too much film of themselves to the big guns to use in June.