Placing Blame on My March Madness Loss

Well, it's official... for real this time, Gonzaga has been eliminated from the NCAA tournament by Texas. Now you may ask, what do you mean "for real"? Well, if you are an avid Twitter user & big Beer Bracket connoisseur, you may have thought my Zags fell many hours ago. Yes, the man known as the beer chugmaster, Ronny Doitche, had an early call of the game, thus of course leading to our actual demise about an hour ago. With that, I must say I am officially out on the beer bracket & Doitche (until the end of March, more of a "suspension").

You may be out on me now after attacking the nice guy & down-for-anything Barstool man, Doitche. Look, this is nothing personal; it's purely fanhood. I know plenty of people who would have been going down this same road if Wisconsin was a preemptive chug, or Ohio State too. This isn't nearly about the man, but the action of the man. Also, to then not really try to reverse the bad juju put on my Zags, I have to take some sort of action here, or what kind of fan does that make me?

Could you say this is just an irrational reaction from a depressed state as another March falls short for my beloved Zags? Sure, go ahead, but I am not listening to that one bit, it makes way too much sense right now. Or could we say, well, were the Zags missing one of the best big men in the nation, and had a bad game with many uncharacteristic turnovers? You damn sure could, but maybe that uncharacteristic play was put in the universe by a beer drank by a nor'easter named Doitche.

I have no other concrete explanation for this loss than Doitche's Space Jam-esque move of drinking away our talent, leaving a team powerless against the forces of the emptied beer. From this point on, or possibly, well actually, most likely just the next 9 days until April...I must stand with my Zags & be out on Doitche. He must know his actions have consequences. Will a formal video apology go a long way in mending the fences with Zag Nation? Yes. Will it take away the pain he has inflicted on us... never.